I unwittingly turned the world of carryout pizza on its head tonight. You see, my wife refuses to eat more than 2 pieces of pizza, and I refuse to have my pizza turned into a fruit salad. It went something like this.
Me: I’d like to make a carryout order
Papa Johns: What would you like tonight?
Me: I’d like a large pizza with one quarter ham and pineapple and 3 quarters pepperoni and onions. (I guarantee alarms went off somewhere at Papa Johns central command)
Papa Johns: Oh! Did you say you want one quarter ham and pineapple?
Me: Yes
Papa Johns: Well…uh…one quarter?
Me: Yeah, its one fourth of the pizza. Half of a half.
Papa Johns: Um…huh… that would be a special order.
Me: Aren’t they all special orders?
Papa Johns: Well, I would have to transfer you for that.
Me: What? Transfer? Where am I?
Papa Johns: I can do half and half, but a quarter... (Trails off in shock then mumbles something about a special order)
Me: Ok, do what you have to. Let’s make it happen.
Papa Johns: Um…yeah…please hold.
New Papa Johns: How can I help you?
Me: I need to make a carryout order.
New Papa Johns: Ok, what’ll it be?
Me: I’d like a large pizza with one quarter ham and pineapple and 3 quarters pepperoni and onions.
New Papa Johns: Um, well…we can do half and half
Me: I don’t want half and half I want a quarter and three quarters.
New Papa Johns: I don’t know if we can do that. I’ll have to check.
Voice in background: A what? Quarters? Half, we only do halves.
New Papa Johns: We can do half and half.
Me: I got that much, but I don’t want half and half.
New Papa Johns: I don’t know what to tell you
Me: Are you serious? Since you guys are stuck on halves, can you do half of a half with ham and pineapples?
New Papa Johns: Um, a what?
Me: You know what… Never mind. You win. I’ll take half and half.
New Papa Johns: Half and Half of what?
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Sunday, March 9, 2008
Quitters Never Win
I received this message from my email program today.
This message has an attachment that this webmail cannot deal with. You will need to use a different mail client to access this attachment. We are sorry for the inconvience, this is a known problem and we are trying to resolve this issue.
My reply:
What!?! There lots of things in life that people can't deal with, but you deal. That's what you do! Humans don't have the luxury of flashing up some mumbo-jumbo on the screen about not being able to deal with it and not even giving it a shot. That's not the way...you'll never get ahead doing that. It's time to put on your big boy pants and step up. You know you've got a problem...NOW FIX IT. (Oh, and by the way, you misspelled "inconvenience." Unless you meant to say "inconvience." At which point I'll have to assume that it is some computer term which those of us who don't speak "nerd" wouldn't understand.)
Now if I only new how to get this message to my email computer thingy.
This message has an attachment that this webmail cannot deal with. You will need to use a different mail client to access this attachment. We are sorry for the inconvience, this is a known problem and we are trying to resolve this issue.
My reply:
What!?! There lots of things in life that people can't deal with, but you deal. That's what you do! Humans don't have the luxury of flashing up some mumbo-jumbo on the screen about not being able to deal with it and not even giving it a shot. That's not the way...you'll never get ahead doing that. It's time to put on your big boy pants and step up. You know you've got a problem...NOW FIX IT. (Oh, and by the way, you misspelled "inconvenience." Unless you meant to say "inconvience." At which point I'll have to assume that it is some computer term which those of us who don't speak "nerd" wouldn't understand.)
Now if I only new how to get this message to my email computer thingy.
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