Doing Donuts

I left the gym this morning at around 6:27am, which gave me approximately 33 minutes to get to work. It’s a good thing that the trip lasts 4 minutes. As I approached a traffic light there was a truck directly behind me, along with two other unidentifiable vehicles behind it, (unidentifiable due to the foggy rear window (and I wasn’t wearing contacts (because they are too expensive (and “Instantly Improve Vision” isn’t on my “to-do” list)))).

Shortly before stopping, I noticed that the driver in the only vehicle that I could recognize made a swift lane change and was now sitting immediately to my right. I knew that there was a school zone slightly more than ¼ mile away from said light and a “Merge Left” sign within the range of my contactless vision. As I processed all of this information, I couldn’t come to a logical conclusion as to why this driver decided to make the lane change.

The only reason one would take this particular route is because their destination must be within 2 minutes (driving time) away. Nobody would be headed through this intersection otherwise. There are no short-cuts, warp zones, or hot dog vendors.

So why did this gentleman get next to me? Did he have intentions of “lightin’ ‘em up” (as the kids say)? Was he trying to impress those around him with his superior driving skills? Did he have some sort of phobia about being stopped behind a Chevrolet? Did he have a date? Who would schedule a date at 6:30 in the morning in a mostly industrial part of town? Moreover, who would want to date a guy who was hell-bent on being the first off the line at a seemingly unimportant traffic light? Why didn’t he leave his house 5 seconds earlier, thus giving him ample time to get in front of me before the light? Did he opt to toast his Pop-Tart, instead of eating it cold? Did he eat a Toaster Strudel, (which requires more time then a Pop-Tart because it’s frozen and you have to apply the frosting yourself (at which point you need to squeeze all of the frosting from the plastic packet, (then lick it for good measure)))? Did he skip breakfast altogether, knowing that Simone was supposed to bring donuts today and Frank always gets there earlier the he which causes Speedracer to lose his chance at the “Pick of the Dozen”?

I think I just answered my question.

Kudos crazy driver, kudos!