I won the lottery

Ok, not the real lottery, but the Walmart lottery. That is when you pick a cart that doesn't have a wobbly wheel. Statistically, the odds of winning the real lottery are only slightly less than getting a cart that doesn't vibrate like the "magic fingers" bed in a cheap hotel. The reason behind that is the carts are custom made for Walmart to include a wobbly wheel. This is for two reasons: the first is it really annoys people and encourages them to complete their shopping quicker, thus allowing Walmart to circulate more customers in a day than their competitors. The other reason is it is a psychological trigger to make you think that you are getting a better deal than you really are. By having a cart with a shaking, spinning wheel you generally say something like, "Man, this place is ghetto." In reality your subconscious is saying "if they won't spend money on fixing the carts they must be passing along the savings to me, that is obviously why I can buy 22 pounds of apples for a buck-fifty" They use a similar tactic with the handicapped or geriatric greeter. Your mouth says, "I bet he/she smells pretty funky," but your subconscious says, "By using those who cannot command a higher wage elsewhere to put stickers on the merchandise to be returned and paying them such a ridiculously low wage that an anorexic could not pay her (not being sexist- statistically about 80% of those with eating disorders are women) food bill, they are saving money and thus can pass those savings on to me." So the moral of the story is when your number is called and your cart rides smooth as silk, just be thankful and shop slow, because, my friend, you've won. You've beat the system. Plus, it gives you time to watch everyone else curse as their carts gyrate like a semi-truck with a blow-out. After re-reading this it occurred to me, again, that I really need to get a job.